Now they've done it!!!

To steal a quote from Butters in South Park, "Now I'm Mad!!!"

What has my undies all bundled up into square knots this time?  Well let's take a trip in my "way back machine" to a simpler time - this morning - when I was making my coffee.  I was listening to a radio station, it might have been KFI but which station doesn't really matter, and taking a sip of my coffee when I heard a sound so offensive to my ears that I nearly lost my Pikes Place via a side trip through my sinuses.  Imagine a thousands sets of finger nails being dragged across a chalkboard, imagine a hundred cats engaged in a blood lust mating ritual.  They pale in comparison to the Kohl's commercial that was simply a mash up of the worst music video of all time.

Out of my radio came the excessively auto-tuned, yet not quite as nasal sound of studio singers singing:


"Black Friday, Black Friday, gotta shop on Black Friday....."


I can't remember the rest of the lyrics, or the tag line for the jingle, I can only recall that the store responsible for this atrocity was Kohl's

Now I know there are a lot of fans of Kohl's out there, and I have no real problem with Kohls.  But look at their logo.  (over there, to the left)

Doesn't it say right under their name "expect great things"????

Well?  Shouldn't we expect great things?  Now personally I just see Kohls as Target with an attitude, and I'll grant you that's from a guy who only shops Amazon.  But if you're going to say "expect great things," shouldn't we?  I mean really.... Rebecca Black?  For those of you who haven't seen it.....  My apologies...

I know I'm just being overly sensitive here.  I know that my vitriol directed at Kohl's has more to do with the assault by retailers on the natural order.  The natural order that dictates that each holiday wait its turn.

My favorite holiday has always been Thanksgiving.  I remember a time when you better have made sure that you have all of your ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner purchased by Wednesday afternoon because you weren't going to find a store open on Thursday.  If you forgot the canned cranberry sauce you better hope one of your neighbors has extra, and you know what, they usually did, and they shared.  It made for better neighborhoods.  (Heck I don't even know the names of any of my neighbors more than two doors away.)

Now, even before our Thanksgiving dinner is digested, retailers want us to leave our warm homes and camp out in front of their stores so we can go spend money we don't have, on gifts we really don't need, while pushing and shoving with others who have also lost the true meaning of this holiday season.

I for one have had it.  Kohl's..... You won't see a dime of my money, if for no other reason than you reminding me of the dangers of over indulgent parents.  (Yeah Mr. & Mrs Black, I'm looking at you.)

And retailers....... You won't see a single dollar from me until December.  And good reader.... if you've made it this far.... it's time to push back.  There's absolutely no reason why they need our money (or our promise to pay the 29.9% apr credit card bill) before 5:00am Friday morning.  If we don't hold firm we run the risk of marginalizing my favorite holiday of the year.  If we don't push back, Thanksgiving will become a Subway turkey sandwich in a tent in front of Best Buy.

I don't have a "way back machine".......  I wish I did.  But if I did, it would look like this:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!!